THE WATERMAN STORY
by: baconeatingatheistjew (44/M/The Great White North)
10/03/05 07:35 pmMsg: 2116555 of 2116563
Waterman was born in Pittsburgh. His mother was a heroin addict trailer trash chick who did any guy who could supply her H. She was shooting up during the entire pregnancy, even on the day she gave birth (this explains Waterman's bipolarity). She placed her fatherless newborn in a dumpster. Waterman was saved and put up for adoption.
A Jewish couple. A woman who survived Auschwitz and her Russian husband adopted waterman. They moved to California.
Waterman always resented his Jewish home. His parents shouldn't have told him he was adopted.
He began to take up non Jewish sports like surfing. It was then he met a blond haired surfing superstar named Joey Buran, who also hailed from Ohio. 4 years his junior, Waterman idolized Joey and became his friend. They would talk about Ohio and surfing endlessly into the night. Waterman was 16 and Joey was 12. He saw how easy Joey picked up girls, he wanted to be Joey so bad. They drifted apart. Joey would go out with girls and Waterman would stay at home on the weekends. Joey got married young and Waterman was hurt not to be invited to the wedding.
Joey became a Christian minister. Waterman was confused. He tried to take his life in college and wound up on a helium machine. It was then when his life was miraculously saved in the Catholic hospital in Washington that he found Jesus.
He went back to California and had a reason to call Joey. Joey baptised Waterman as a Christian.
Now Waterman is a bipolar Messianic Jew.